ADHD Center for Success

It’s not uncommon for some adults with ADD to lead fairly normal lives, everything going well and suddenly find themselves struggling with unfamiliar behaviors such as clutter and disorganization (mental and physical), uncommon tardiness (appointments and personal engagements, paying bills), and struggling to get things done.

I find this often to be the case of the adult with ADHD when they experience a significant change in life circumstances. Common life changes may include divorce, retirement from a successful career or a career change from a group business to self employment.

So, what is it that these changes have in common for adults with ADD? Let me first explain that many but not adults with ADD tend to lack the internal ability of self structure, routine and accountability. In fact, many of these adults commonly find structure, routine and accountability from external sources such as marriage/relationship or a structured work environment.

Most relationships have some degree of shared dreams and plans for their relationship. There is often a checks & balances system (formal or informal). Sometimes relationship roles are defined, sometimes not BUT the adult with ADD often (even without knowing it) frequently adapts to the routine and structure provided by the simple day to day aspects of relationship and family.

The work environment is another example because it often provides the structure of a specific time to show up for work and a time to end the work day. Most businesses have prescribed “Policies and Procedures” or protocol to follow. Most often there is a supervisor/manager or hierarchical structure of persons to ‘answer to’. However, it’s not uncommon for adults with ADD to dislike these environments because it tends to be linear – a prescribed way of doing things, do this, then this, then this and so on. When I coach adults with ADD they often respond with a facial grimace when I discuss the need for routine and structure in their life and work. It’s like my telling them they have to swallow a terribly distasting medicine.

Some work environments involve working with others but may still lack the routine and structure to help keep the ADHD person on task. Real Estate is an example of an environment in which the person is employed within a group but often times the realtor is essentially on their own. That’s not to say that there isn’t any routine or structure but a great deal is left to the individual realtor. Other examples would include independent contractors in construction, technology, computers, sales, and even network marketers.

Another challenge is the independent contractor or small business owner who is responsible for creating the business routines and structure for themselves AND their employees. The adult with ADD often thrives on spontaneity and change but what happens when they have to establish guidelines and procedures for their employees or worse yet, when employees find that the ADD employer/manager is constantly changing the guidelines and procedures?

As wonderful as we adults with ADD can be and regardless of our great intentions, and creative ideas, as a rule we are likely to demonstrate poor self management of both time and money (income & expenses). But wait, there is help!

Coaching Tips -

·     Be truthful with yourself regarding your personal and business strengths & weaknesses

·     Share responsibilities with others that possess strengths to support your weaknesses

·     Create accountability to others –

o    hire an accountant or bookkeeper;

o    hire an assistant;

o    consider using a personal or business coach;

o    create an accountability buddy relationship with a friend, work colleague or other person.

o    Create an effective personal and work related system of routine and structure.

·   Ask for help. It could save your business and dramatically improve your life.

~ CoachRudy

**Feel free to share your comments, your personal experiences and solutions

Have you ever heard yourself or others remark, “There’s not enough time”? If you have, you’re certainly in good company. It’s not uncommon for ADHD adults to experience a shortage of both time and money in their lives. While it is true that most ADHD adults struggle with management of time and money, it’s also true that “management” may only be a partial intervention.

I was listening to a great tele-seminar recently by Shell Tain, Money Coach. Shell stressed the importance of the language that we express (both to ourselves and to others). This thinking also enters the realm of the “Law of Attraction”. If you’re not familiar with this concept then I suggest you explore this very powerful Law of Attraction.

Very simply, the Law of Attraction says that there is an abundance of everything. You need only ask for what you want. Now here’s the interesting part. Your language is crucial to what you receive. If your language is “I don’t have ENOUGH” … then that’s just what you get. You’ll receive “enough”, “just enough”, “not enough”, and so on…

Shell suggests that we all become very conscious of our language and substitute the word ENOUGH with the word PLENTY. It’s that simple and yet it like take practice to change what I refer to as our ‘default’ language. Give it a try and see what happens.

The other day I was running behind to an appointment. (yes, the Coach was running behind schedule). Anyway, as I was rushing to my appointment I found myself thinking, “I’m running behind schedule. I don’t have enough time and I’m NOT likely to arrive on time”. BUT just as I uttered those words I heard my language. I immediately replaced my statement with something more affirming, “I’ve got plenty of time and I’ll arrive with plenty of time before my appointment”. As it turned out, I arrived five minutes before the appointment.

This is not to say that practicing proper management of our time and money is not important. However, you may also want to consider the “Law of Attraction”; consider your choice of language and it’s relationship to the results you’re currently attracting into your life.

To more fully understand the “Law of Attraction” your may refer to the following sources:

• Book: “The Law of Attraction” by Esther and Jerry Hicks
• Book:  “Law of Attraction by Michael J. Losier
• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_(2006_film) 

With Independence Day on the horizon, let us take a moment to focus upon the concept of FREEDOM as it may pertain to the adult with ADHD.

Emotional Freedom – Allow yourself a break by taking some time for yourself during this festive weekend. Treat yourself to something special. Take a walk in the woods. Unplug from the grind of ‘doing’ and simply allow yourself to “BE”. Spend quality time with loved ones. If you’re a single adult with ADHD, take yourself out for a special date…with yourself.

Another means of emotional freedom is to grant yourself permission to be gentle toward self. Learn to laugh at your sometimes amusing and colorful ADD ways. As a collective of people with shared traits

Freedom of Time – Adults with ADHD tend to have an abundance of thoughts, things to do, projects to complete and more. Give yourself the ultimate present. There is no greater gift than that of being ‘present’ in the current moment. Shut everything else off and just be present with your current thought. Take a deep breath and allow yourself to be fully present with that special person in your life. Close your eyes and be fully present to everything that is happening within you and around you in this very moment.

Another aspect of Freedom of Time is to learn to effectively manage your time. We each have the same amount of time so don’t allow yourself to be a victim to your runaway time. Managed effectively, you’ll find ‘freedom’ to engage in your favorite activities and pleasures. 

Freedom of Well-Being – When it comes to health and fitness, remember that facts prove exercise and eating well can add longevity and quality of life. For the adult with ADHD exercise can contribute to a healthy mind and a sharper focus. The main thing is that exercise should be fun. It shouldn’t feel like punishment.

When it comes to ‘Well-Being’, Spirit is the third component to the full triad of Body, Mind and Spirit.  Prayer, meditation, yoga and mindfulness are all healthy ways to nurture and enliven the Spirit within.

Freedom of Self – Grant yourself permission to BE who you are. Friends and family sometimes wish us to be something or someone other than our true nature. While it’s important to ‘show-up’ and tend to our responsibilities to self and others, it’s also important to honor our ADDness. Don’t fight or resist what is. There are several gifts in our ADDness. Be grateful, acknowledge and nurture your ADDness.

Enjoy your 4^th of July celebration wherever you may be. Freedom is a wonderful thing. Embrace it dearly, for not everyone in the world will share this jubilant experience.

~CoachRudy

Yesterday, I started my washing machine and also ran water in my sink to wash dishes. Well, I sat down at the computer, kept hearing water running, and thought it was the washing machine. I looked in the kitchen, and there was about an inch of water on the floor and the sink was overflowing. The washer had gone through a cycle with no clothes in it.  Gotta laugh!!!!!!! I’ve done this before except it was the bath tub. I had walked by computer and it was screaming, “Surf me! Surf me!”

Submitted by: MD (ADHD Adult)