ADHD Center for Success

By Eileen Bailey (ADHDcentral.com)

Do the symptoms of ADHD strain your relationship? If you have ADHD, does your partner complain about the lack of attention or your inability to follow through on a task? Have you forgotten important events, creating friction? If so, you aren’t alone. Approximately 5 percent of all adults have ADHD and because adult ADHD has only been recently recognized, most have probably gone undiagnosed for much of their life. Even so, the characteristics of ADHD have always been there and create tension in your love life.

To help you find answers, I went to the experts and asked how ADHD impacts relationships and what they would offer as suggestions to help.

By Ronnie Koenig

When your partner has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it can feel like he is not carrying his share of the load in the relationship and family life. ADHD sufferers often have trouble listening. They may interrupt their partners, forget to keep promises, behave impulsively, be subject to severe mood swings and lack the ability to create and maintain any type of real structure — all qualities that do not make for a happy home life.

ADHD is more than a minor annoyance. Its effects can break up marriages. In fact, divorce rates appear to be higher when one member of a couple has ADHD.

But with the help of medication, behavioral modification techniques or both, many ADHD sufferers can form happy and fulfilling bonds with their partners. If handled with care, those relationships can last a lifetime.

“For romantic relationships where ADHD is a factor, the biggest pitfalls are inattention and forgetfulness,” says Dr. Donald Haupt, co-author of the “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Adult ADHD.”

When one member of the couple doesn’t seem to be listening during a conversation or when she forgets important ...READ MORE…

The following article was published in the NY Times on July 19, 2010 and forwarded to me by one of my ADHD Success readers. The toll of ADHD on marriage and relationships can be overwhelming. Does this sound familiar? ~CoachRudy

Attention Disorders Can Take a Toll on Marriage

by Tara Parker-Pope

Does your husband or wife constantly forget chores and lose track of the calendar? Do you sometimes feel that instead of living with a spouse, you’re raising another child?

Your marriage may be suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

An A.D.H.D. marriage? It may sound like a punch line, but the idea that attention problems can take a toll on adult relationships is getting more attention from mental health experts. In a marriage, the common symptoms of the disorder — distraction, disorganization, forgetfulness — can easily be misinterpreted as laziness, selfishness, and a lack of love and concern.

Experts suggest that at least 4 percent of adults have the disorder, that as many as half of all children with A.D.H.D. do not fully outgrow it and continue to struggle with symptoms as adults, and that many adults with the disorder never received the diagnosis as children.

Adults with attention disorders often learn coping skills to help them stay organized and focused at work, but experts say many of them struggle at home, where their tendency to become distracted is a constant source of conflict. Some research suggests that these adults are twice as likely to be divorced; another study found high levels of distress in 60 percent of marriages where one spouse had the disorder.

READ FULL ARTICLE

Let’s hear your comments on this article and this subject.

~CoachRudy

My interviews with ADD and non-ADD partners in ADD Relationships have been very enlightening. One recent interview was conducted with Shannon, a non-ADD partner. Shannon and her husband have been married for twelve years and have two young children.

For Shannon, her ADD relationship has come with ups & downs but overall she has found a level of peace and happiness with her ADD relationship.

There is help for ADD Relationships. Shannon shared the following lessons that have evolved during her twelve year ADD Relationship:

• There has been a good deal of ‘trial & error’ but it’s important to ‘try without attachment’. That means if it works, it works. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work and don’t get attached to it working.
• I’ve learned to not expect ‘perfection’. He may not do it the way I would do it but I’ve learned to appreciate his efforts.
• I used to nag but soon learned that nagging doesn’t work. It’s too much like parenting. It doesn’t work for me and it doesn’t work for him.
• I found different ways to communicate without nagging. I now write notes or leave a message on his cell phone with reminders.
• I realized that it was not his conscious choice to NOT DO something or to not follow through with an agreement.

Click HERE to get help now for your ADD Relationship.

Many ADD couples are suffering unnecessary conflicts when real help is avalable for your ADD relationship.

Is your ADD relationship in need of help?

CALL TODAY – 828-681-7100 to schedule your FREE 30min consultation

• Learn personalized strategies to enhance your ADD relationship
• Learn to overcome those common ADD communication challenges
• Learn how to redeuce ADD relationship frustrations
• Learn how to achieve greater ADD relationship satisfaction

Marriage therapists unfamiliar with adult AD/HD will often miss the mark in adding your ADD relationship.

SOLUTION: Get real HELP from an ADD expert

CoachRudy has been working with AD/HD since 1981. CoachRudy is a Licensed Clinical Therapist, a Certified Coach and he is himself is an adult with ADHD.

Why not seek help from an ADD expert who personally understands adult ADD, and is skilled at working with your unique ADD relationship issues.

CALL TODAY – 828-681-7100 to schedule your FREE 30min consultation

The month of February has become synonymous with Valentines. Yes, February is the season of Cupid, the month of love and a month that invites us to give focus to our love relationships. ADD relationships can be fun, loving, exciting and they can be very challenging.

I have been conducting research by interviewing individuals and couples who volunteered to discuss their personal experiences in ADD relationships. I have interviewed a few non-ADD partners currently in ADD relationships. I am also scheduled to interview a few ADD partners in relationship. 

During the month of February, I will be sharing information gleaned from these interviews. Stay tuned for more on ADD relationships…

~  CoachRudy