ADHD Center for Success

Coach Rudy Rodriguez will present a seminar to the Annual NASW-NC Fall Conference on November 21 in Asheville, NC. The topic of his presentation is “ADD at Work: Maximizing Your Effectiveness”.

I’ve had the privilege of coaching a very special adult with ADHD (we’ll call him Joe) who has far exceeded the expectations of himself and others. But, if you ask Joe, his path to success is not complete. Today he finds himself in a constant process of self discovery.

His coaching began about four months ago and he was at his wit’s end. Early on in the coaching process we had discussed details of his medication and I recommended he speak with his MD about a slight adjustment. He responded well to his prescription adjustment. In our coaching, I worked with Joe, his wife, and his office assistant. I worked with Joe to define his personal ‘recipe’ for success, constantly tweaking his recipe. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about me. Joe was driven – reading, listening to audio tapes from the experts, constantly finding little things that worked for him and repeatedly re-inventing himself.

Nevertheless, he faced one remaining hurdle that continued to hold him back. Joe continued to judge himself and compare himself to standards of ‘generics’ (those non-ADHD individuals). I coached him around this for weeks. We focused on his grief regarding his early (pre-diagnosis) life that was painful and dotted with serial failures. Through our coaching, Joe eventually found a level of resolution and reinvented himself yet again. The key was his coming to an ‘acceptance of self’ and shifting his thinking from a ‘victim consciousness’ to one of self-empowerment.

We often utilized a scale of 1-10 to rate his level of performance. During a recent coaching session, Joe declared #10 as perfection and thus unattainable. In recent weeks he averaged his  performance between 8.5 and 9. This is quite a contrast from his early coaching and he is very happy with these results. Meanwhile, his colleagues around the country have been writing him asking “what’s up?” Colleagues who were aware of his prior performance are now looking to him for ideas for success. Of course, Joe is very modest, “I have to thank Shire (his colleagues don’t understand the pharmaceutical joke) and coaching for my current success”.

In an email a few days ago Joe shared the following:  “I had my semiannual review with the owner/president of (his financial company) yesterday and he was stunned with my (results) last year.  At the end of my review he told me that he has conducted 7500 reviews over his career and mine (yesterday) was in his top 25 of all time.   This to me was a big deal.  He at one point (4 years ago) called me the biggest waste of talent he had ever met and that I was a massive disappointment to management.  He was trying to motivate me, I understand, but it just compounded everything I had heard growing up.  So for me, this was a sign the transition is working. People are noticing and want to know what is going on.” 

This morning Joe shared his realization that he sometimes feels like an alcoholic, “once an adult with ADHD, always an adult with ADHD”. He realizes that ADHD requires constant vigilance and attention to his success recipe. Like the alcoholic, it is prudent for the adult with ADHD to consider those fundamental words from Alcoholics Anonymous, “just for today”. In his own words, “People (generic and ADHD’ers) need to understand what a powerful tool personal awareness is?  It is that simple.  Personal awareness is the ultimate tool, no matter who we’re talking about, but it is critical for the person who struggles with ADHD.”    

The Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA) is the only organization focused solely on providing information, resources and networking opportunities to adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and the professionals who serve them. In doing so, ADDA generates hope, awareness, empowerment and connections worldwide in the field of ADHD. Bringing together scientific perspectives and the human experience, the information and resources provided to individuals and families affected by ADHD and professionals in the field focuses on diagnoses, treatment, strategies and techniques for helping adults with ADHD lead better lives. For more information please visit www.add.org

In recognition of National ADHD Awareness Week, CoachRudy will be highlighted in a LIVE radio interview on Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2008. He will interviewed by local commentator, David Hurand on WCQS Public Radio in Asheville, NC. The topic is “Adults with ADHD”.

You can listen to the LIVE interview from the Asheville area on WCQS at 88.1 on the dial. You can also listen to WCQS Online at: www.WCQS.org and connect via your preferred media player.

When students leave the parental nest and head off to college, they have to take a lot more responsibility for themselves. While academic issues might be expected, there are also relationship issues that often arise. High frustration levels can lead to poor self-esteem and isolation, while lack of social skills can lead to inappropriate behavior, such as spending too much time socializing.
 
According to the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA), supportive strategies such as practicing good self-care, getting enough exercise and rest, and learning ways to reduce stress can help keep academics and relationships on target. Additionally, working with a coach (see sidebar) or peer study group can keep the student with AD/HD on an even keel, providing a steadying influence in the free-for-all of college life.
 
College students also often embark on their first serious romantic relationships, which can be negatively impacted by their AD/HD. (See Affairs of the Heart, below.)

Adults with ADHD often share common symptoms, characteristics and traits. Can you relate to these real-life experiences of the ADHD Center for Success blogsite readers and my coaching clients? Can you relate to these experiences??

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“I loved your postings on your website. I am really trying to keep my emails more concise and to the point.  I have also thought a lot about how much structure was in my marriage/working schedule and how that made it much easier to function.”

  ~From Reader 
 

I am sure you have heard this before, but exercise is boring and especially to the ADHDer.   “What? An hour on that stupid machine- No way.”   BUT if I play video games (Mario Kart) while I am on the elliptical machine, I can go for over an hour.  I suppose the stimulation is enough to keep me on that machine.  So, it wasn’t that I am lazy or lack of disciple or lack of ambition.  It is the fact that I never had the stimulus to keep me interested. 

The funny thing is my wife asked me, “Do you know you had 4 miles in on that machine yesterday and burned over 600 calories.”  “Really, I didn’t know that, but I do know that I am really ripping through Mario Kart.”  

  ~ From Coaching Client

 
The last time I talked to you, I told you I was in “princess mode,” just sort of resting and chilling since the move.  It quickly progressed to POPCICLE MODE-  frozen solid.  I haven’t done as many productive things since I talked to you last week.  I guess I got moved in, saw all the boxes to unpack and go through, and CHOSE not to act. I truly believe that just “thinking” about these things, things, stuff, and more stuff, rather than “tackling” these things made the tasks seem much more difficult than they actually are. And the “thinking” and “fretting” created more emotional/physical fatigue than the energy I would produce by “doing.”

  ~ From Coaching Client

Last night I felt compelled to search my library of books to re-read Wayne Dyer’s book – “The Power of INTENTION”. I had forgotten how much I had enjoyed reading it the first time. This morning I sat down to my computer to read new email and found one of my favorite newsletters, Barb Melloh’s Law of Attraction Newsletter – “Magnetic News”. Those of you already familiar with the Law of Attraction will agree that it was no coincidence for me that the Newsletter’s title article was about “Intention”.

The newsletter article reviewed Lynne McTaggart’s new book, “The Intention Experiment: Using Your Thoughts to Change Your Life and the World”. McTaggart clarifies the science behind intention by citing examples of specific scientific evidence. Yes, even the scientific has validated the power of intention.

So, what does Intention have to do with ADHD you ask? The answer is everything. Adults with ADHD often impulsively jump into their day without a clear plan, direction nor INTENTION. I was coaching a client this week and I pointed out that without a plan or clear ‘intention of outcome’ an individual is destined to drift aimlessly, victim to the whims of ocean/wind currents. As ADDer’s, we may frequently find ourselves drifting from one thought to another, one task to another, from… well you get the idea. Intention = FOCUS. There is a reason that research is indicating that the annual income of adults with ADHD is less than those adults without ADHD.

The Newsletter goes on to say that, “The process of setting intentions is a powerful way to design and create your life in exact accord with your desires. It’s a great idea to begin each day by setting positive intentions, for example – Today I intend and expect to: (examples)”.

Intention is a powerful tool to intentionally design and guide your life. Intention is also an excellent way to start your day. Here are a few coaching tips:

• Get clear of what you want to do, to create, who you want to BE.
• State the above intentions to yourself each and every morning.
• What is your ‘intended outcome(s)’ for the day.
• Write your intentions on paper. “Today I Intend to…”.
• Your daily TO DO list should include action steps to support your Intentions.
• Use Mindfulness Bells to stay on track and out of the drift.

Intention is also about ‘choice’. Make the conscious choice to live from your Intentions rather than meandering in the drift. Intention = Focus.

*Click on “Magnetic News” to read more about Lynne McTaggart’s new book.

~CoachRudy

By Shelly A. Meyers, Ed.D.

When students are in the K-12 atmosphere most teachers consider it their job to teach to all learning styles, particularly when there is an IEP to consider. This is not the case in the college atmosphere. There will be many more lecture presentations than discussions and in some cases PowerPoint is something very new. So how do students approach a course that is being taught outside of their preferred learning style? Particularly for students with ADD this is a challenge. The following are abbreviated steps that can be taken to convert the presentation of the professor to the learning style of the student.

Step 1: Identify your preferred learning style or modality and the professor’s teaching style. There are three basic types of learning modalities depending on the theorist. However, the most common are auditory, visual, and tactile/kinesthetic. For most students with ADD or traits of ADD the most preferred are the visual and tactile/kinesthetic. In college the teaching types are lecture, discussion, and hands-on or combinations of each. It is a good idea to ask upper classmen about professors and their teaching styles—they’ll be happy to let you know.

Step 2: Ask the professor about the best way to study for the class. Some professors will give students copies of their notes or post their PowerPoints or recorded lectures to an internet site. If the professor happens to teach the same course on-line those resources will most likely be readily available. Be sure to indicate your accommodations and how these tools will benefit your learning in the course. Also ask the professor to recommend a student tutor. When students speak in “student” language, the same information just comes out easier to understand.

Step 3: Convert the professor’s presentation to your style of learning. If the professor lectures—convert the audio recording into PowerPoint notes or form a discussion study group. If the professor provides PowerPoint notes—convert it into a hands-on activity. These skills can be difficult to build in the beginning, but by the time you figure out your best way of learning—it will be well worth your time. If you have an ADD coach, ask him or her to help you with the conversion during your sessions. Be sure to store all of your conversions to study for exams—especially the final exams.

For more information please contact Dr. Meyers at ude.enotsemilnull@sreyems.

Many of us are using email and texting as a tool for social and work related communication. While these tools can be very effective they also require some level of personal management. Remember, ‘stimulation is my friend’. Email and texting can be effective, quick, entertaining AND it can be a major distraction from other, potentially more important tasks and responsibilities.
 
Here are a few of Coach Rudy’s tips for ADHD Self Management: 

• I generally find it important to schedule your email time.
• Turn on your email only during your scheduled times.
• Keep your email turned off during all other times.
• Use mindfulness bells to help monitor your email use.
• Avoid texting while driving, walking and multi-tasking

 
Here are some ways to use e-mail to your advantage (source: Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, PhD, author of “10 Simple solutions to Adult ADD”).
 

• Keep questions in your emails to a yes-or-no format.
• If you receive an email that asks you detailed questions, type your answers in a different font color directly after the original questions.
• Unsubscribe from mass mailings you do not read. Usually, there is an “unsubscribe” link at the bottom of the email.
• Schedule a time to answer your email. Enforce a time limit on your email use.
• Send yourself an email to remind yourself of important information for the next day.

It’s not uncommon for some adults with ADD to lead fairly normal lives, everything going well and suddenly find themselves struggling with unfamiliar behaviors such as clutter and disorganization (mental and physical), uncommon tardiness (appointments and personal engagements, paying bills), and struggling to get things done.

I find this often to be the case of the adult with ADHD when they experience a significant change in life circumstances. Common life changes may include divorce, retirement from a successful career or a career change from a group business to self employment.

So, what is it that these changes have in common for adults with ADD? Let me first explain that many but not adults with ADD tend to lack the internal ability of self structure, routine and accountability. In fact, many of these adults commonly find structure, routine and accountability from external sources such as marriage/relationship or a structured work environment.

Most relationships have some degree of shared dreams and plans for their relationship. There is often a checks & balances system (formal or informal). Sometimes relationship roles are defined, sometimes not BUT the adult with ADD often (even without knowing it) frequently adapts to the routine and structure provided by the simple day to day aspects of relationship and family.

The work environment is another example because it often provides the structure of a specific time to show up for work and a time to end the work day. Most businesses have prescribed “Policies and Procedures” or protocol to follow. Most often there is a supervisor/manager or hierarchical structure of persons to ‘answer to’. However, it’s not uncommon for adults with ADD to dislike these environments because it tends to be linear – a prescribed way of doing things, do this, then this, then this and so on. When I coach adults with ADD they often respond with a facial grimace when I discuss the need for routine and structure in their life and work. It’s like my telling them they have to swallow a terribly distasting medicine.

Some work environments involve working with others but may still lack the routine and structure to help keep the ADHD person on task. Real Estate is an example of an environment in which the person is employed within a group but often times the realtor is essentially on their own. That’s not to say that there isn’t any routine or structure but a great deal is left to the individual realtor. Other examples would include independent contractors in construction, technology, computers, sales, and even network marketers.

Another challenge is the independent contractor or small business owner who is responsible for creating the business routines and structure for themselves AND their employees. The adult with ADD often thrives on spontaneity and change but what happens when they have to establish guidelines and procedures for their employees or worse yet, when employees find that the ADD employer/manager is constantly changing the guidelines and procedures?

As wonderful as we adults with ADD can be and regardless of our great intentions, and creative ideas, as a rule we are likely to demonstrate poor self management of both time and money (income & expenses). But wait, there is help!

Coaching Tips -

·     Be truthful with yourself regarding your personal and business strengths & weaknesses

·     Share responsibilities with others that possess strengths to support your weaknesses

·     Create accountability to others –

o    hire an accountant or bookkeeper;

o    hire an assistant;

o    consider using a personal or business coach;

o    create an accountability buddy relationship with a friend, work colleague or other person.

o    Create an effective personal and work related system of routine and structure.

·   Ask for help. It could save your business and dramatically improve your life.

~ CoachRudy

**Feel free to share your comments, your personal experiences and solutions