ADHD Center for Success

I want to introduce my readers to Peter Shankman. I enjoy his thinking so I try to follow his blog. Peter is a real ‘out-of-the box’ kind of guy, non-stop energy, creative and generates boundless  ideas.

Since it is now officially the New Year 2012, I thought I’d share this posting from Peter regarding ‘annual resolutions’.

**Here is what Peter has to say:

Remember at the beginning of 2011, when you made all those resolutions, and by mid-January, they were roadkill? Here’s a suggestion for you this year – Don’t make resolutions. They’re not worth it. Instead, start creating rituals. Rituals last. That’s why they’re rituals! Here’s a great ritual to start: Get up a half an hour earlier each day. Here’s how to do it.

As an ADHD Coach, I will add that I too am not a promoter of ‘resolutions’. They simply don’t work. My thinking is that ‘annual resolutions’ are simply ‘good ideas’. Like fireworks, ‘resolutions’ come on to the scene with a burst of energy and simply fade into the sunset before too long… replaced by regrets and/or the next ‘good idea’.

Those of you who have worked with me or who have heard me speak know that I promote ‘Recipes for Success’. A proven recipe will (if followed to the letter) most often produce reliable, consistent and replicable results – whether your favorite dish or a desired behavior. I’ll write more about his in a future blog. Meanwhile dump those resolutions.

~CoachRudy

 There is a great deal of recent press about the tendency for many to view ADHD negatively. As an ADHD adult myself I am well aware of my personal challenges related to my ADHD traits. However, let me be clear that there is another side to ADHD, the UP SIDE of ADHD.

Some of the negativity may have to do with the diagnostic distinction that ADHD is a DISORDER. It’s true that the medically diagnostic distinction of ADHD allows for children and adults to receive treatment services that in the view of the medical insurance are  … “medically necessary”. However, once the diagnosis is complete it’s time to focus on the… “What to do now?

It’s important to remember that ADHD is not WHO we ARE. In fact, ADHD is simply a distinction that characterizes common traits that identify a behavioral profile. Yes, there are some distinct challenges experienced by adults with ADHD symptoms/characteristics. However, children & adults individual with ADHD can also have several positive behavioral characteristics. The new term being used to describe this is “strength based”.

The Genius in ADD
But wait! Don’t take it from me… Two experts in the field of ADD/ADHD have just written a FREE e-Book “Find the Genius in ADD”. They write, “When we reflect on the world of ADD at this time – we see needless upset, shame, negativity and despair.” Dr. Edward Hallowell – Author, Expert in the field of ADD, and diagnosed with ADD himself. Dr. Kenny Handelman – Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist, Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Western Ontario.

Both Dr. Edward Hallowell and Dr. Kenny Handelman (both psychiatrists) are promoting the term “strength based diagnosis” to the medical community. ADD Coach, Tara McGillicuddy, takes issue with this and recommends the use of the term, “strength based approach” with the general (non-medical) community. It’s time that we ALL promote to the medical community, family, friends, employers and to others this “strength based approach”. Of course, the first step to is adequately understand ADHD rather than accept the common misunderstandings and outdated definitions of adult ADHD

Let’s all get clear that ADHD adults can be fun, innovative and successful. Ask Bill Gates, and Paul Orfalea, Kinkos Founder, to name a few.

Here’s a short list on my take of the “UP SIDE” of ADHD”. We can be:
• Creative
• Resilient
• Energetic
• Enthusiastic
• Determined
• Can think on our feet
• Good in crisis situations
• Able to hyper-focus
• Love a challenge
• Love interacting with people
• Good at communicating
• …and much more.

What are your strengths and positive aspects of adult ADHD. Please write and share your thoughts.

What results will you create in 2008 ?

It’s now official, we are in the year 2008 and I am reminded of the most common question that arises with every New Year. “Have you made your New Years Resolutions yet?” Now doesn’t that question conjure up positive and successful memories? Of course not! Research shows us that most people lack the true ‘resolve’ to actually achieve a New Years Resolution. By definition, “a New Year’s Resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous”.

In my coach training program, we learned that people tend to be unsuccessful at achieving their goals and resolutions simply because most people consider it just another ‘good idea’. It’s rare for a ‘good idea’ to actually become reality because there is a lack of true commitment. Furthermore, those few ‘good ideas’ that do become a reality generally don’t last very long, again from lack of drive and commitment.

A new BMO Financial Group study conducted by Angus Reid Strategies says nearly all Canadians (about 96 per cent) make a resolution at the start of a new calendar year. The study suggests more resolutions would be kept if Canadians committed to creating a plan. It said nearly two-thirds of respondents believe developing an action plan or receiving professional assistance would help them achieve their goals.

Then there is judgment. I decided to add a single page insert to my 2007 Christmas cards. After avoiding the task for a few weeks, I finally sat and began to write my insert – a capsulation of my life in 2007. As I wrote I quickly realized the source of my discomfort and avoidance of this task. As I summarized the year I had  wanted to ‘evaluate and judge’ my successes and failures of 2007. Ouch! Not the approach I wanted to create for myself.

As a Coach I stress that “YOU are not your results”. Your results are simply your results. In coaching, there is no judgment. No judgment about you; no judgment about your results. And as you may have noticed, ‘self judgment’ (beating up yourself) rarely leads to forwarding or motivating behaviors. As you review your results (successes and failures) of 2007, remember that they are simply your results. No more judgment, none.

Try a new approach this year. Use my “Coach Approach” (listed below) as a tool when reviewing your 2007 results and when creating your vision/goals for 2008. Some famous person once said, “People who fail to plan, plan to fail”. Create a solid plan for 2008 and then take committed  action for successful results. Let me know your thoughts and results, how this Coach Approach worked or didn’t work for you?  

~ Coach Rudy

The Coach Approach – Coaching Tips:

As your Coach, I ask you:

• What was your vision, your goals for 2007? What did you intend to create in your life?
• In review, how did you do? How did you end up… 50%, 80%, 100%  accomplishment or completion of your goal(s) ?
• What was working ‘from you’ to create your results?
• What was NOT working ‘from you’ to create your results?

Now here’s the next big questions to ask yourself for 2008:

• So, what’s next? What is your new or continued vision / goals for 2008?
• What will you do this year that you didn’t do or complete in 2007?
• How important is it for you to complete this goal/vision? (1 – 10; 10= High). Anything less than an 8, 9 or 10 is not likely to produce successful results.
• Do you have a plan charted out on a time-plan? “What by when”?
• Do you have someone to support you along the way? Do you have an Accountability Buddy?

Let me know your thoughts and results, how this Coach Approach worked or didn’t work for you?   ~ Coach Rudy\

Tis’ the season. Depending on your religious or spiritual beliefs, December for many is the Holiday Season. It’s supposed to be joyous and festive.. Yet, for some people (ADHD or not) the holiday season is one often associated with STRESS, rushing around, crowds and traffic, and a time crunch with overwhelming deadlines. Yes, as if there isn’t already enough on your TO DO list, many ADHD adults may now find themselves running behind on their multiple holiday tasks and deadlines with an urgent effort get everything done on time.

This holiday season give yourself the gift of self acceptance. Be grateful for what you do have and what you have done. Be grateful for your impulsive and energetic nature. Have fun! But most of all… be gentle with yourself. Be forgiving and accept yourself; your nature and your ADHD traits. That’s not to say that you’re fully baked. Of course not, we are all an unfinished project. We are all in process…But during this season give yourself the gift of being gentle with yourself.

This week I was coaching an ADHD client and he began the coaching call with a sense of sorrow and regret. “It’s the end of another year and I feel like I haven’t done enough. I feel like I’m no better off than where I was in my life last year”. The holiday season also carries a bench mark as it represents the conclusion of another year. For some, it’s easy to focus on what you didn’t get done or what you didn’t accomplish from your 2007 goals or wish list. Be aware of a possible tendency to beat yourself up during this time of year. Why not try a more gentle and responsible approach this year: 1) acknowledge your ‘incompletes’, own them. 2) set new related goals and deadlines for 2008. 3) reflect on what you DID accomplish in 2007(minor as well as significant accomplishments). 4) Lastly, there is always another opportunity to do it differently; to create another, more satisfying outcome(s).

As you approach the New Year allow yourself to see it as a massive opportunity to create wonderful outcomes that bring great benefits to your life. If you still struggle with incompletes and you’re feeling frustrated and/or doubting your ability to create positive outcomes, do something different. First of all, don’t be the ‘lone ranger’. Find an “Accountability Buddy” to be partner up with. Declare your goals (annual, quarterly, monthly and weekly) to your Accountability Buddy and check-in on a regular basis. It’s very likely that you’ll accomplish your stated goals and create the powerful outcomes you desire when you partner with someone else; someone to be accountable to.

I learned a powerful statement a few years ago from a personal coach that has boosted me during moments of personal weakness. When I recite this statement I immediately feel a surge of energy and determination. Give it a try and let me know your personal experience. Here it is: “If it’s going to be, it’s up to me”.

Enjoy this holiday season. Be joyous, Be gentle and set yourself up for a wonderful 2008!

~CoachRudy