• Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder – Humor

      A. A. A. D. D.
    (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)

     

     This is how it manifests:

    I decide to water my lawn.

    As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over
    at my car and decide my car needs washing.

    As I start toward the garage, I notice that there
    is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
    the mail box earlier.

    I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

    I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail
    in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the
    can is full.

    So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take
    out the garbage first.

    But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox
    when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay
    the bills first.

    I take my check book off the table, and see that there
    is only one check left.

    My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go
    inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke
    that I had been drinking.

    I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
    the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
    I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should
    put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

    As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of
    flowers on the counter catches my eye – they need to be
    watered.

    I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
    reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

    I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first
    I’m going to water the flowers.

    I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a
    container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
    Someone left it on the kitchen table.

    I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will
    be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s
    on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the
    living room where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

    I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills
    on the floor.

    So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some
    towels and wipe up the spill.

    Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
    planning to do.

    At the end of the day:

    the lawn isn’t watered,
    the car isn’t washed,
    the bills aren’t paid,
    there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
    the flowers don’t have enough water,
    there is still only one check in my check book,
    I can’t find the remote,
    I can’t find my glasses,
    I don’t remember what I did with the car keys,
    and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose
    that was flooding the driveway.

    Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
    I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
    and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
    and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

    Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to someone
    you know, because I may not remember to whom it has been sent.

    Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

    GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
    GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
    LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!

    **Original source unknown

     

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